Monday, September 12, 2011

so much has been going on..

I have been neglecting this blog. and for a number of reasons, but I really want to keep it going,
so it's back to the keyboard today. In the last entry, for those who recall, I was talking about my stepfather.Now I have already covered most of his sins, his violent temper, his excessive drinking, the fear I felt in the pit of my gut nearly every time he walked into the apartment.. His bizarre "arrangement" of taking over MY bedroom rather than sleeping with my mom. was a mystery for many years to me.Now, due to the passage of time, I cannot recall every detail of how it all went down, or even exactly the timing though I want to place this around 1985/86. but one day it ALL began to make a little more sense. Lord Vader had a DARK DARK secret. and I cannot confirm my suspicions about ALL of this, but these are the facts, make what you will of them. He had a daughter, with two young daughters and a 3rd child came later, a son. She, like his other 2 sons wanted next to nothing or as little as possible to do with him and lived in Middletown NY. over an hour away from us. nice enough people, and nobody would blame them for not wanting his crazy drunken ass visiting often. well THIS was the ultimate mind fuck for ME. the absolute FINAL moment when I asked myself HOW can Mom "overlook" what came next?. Lord Vader was accused. and spent over a year in JAIL for "touching" his,6, 7 or 8 year old granddaughter..( I could not tell you her age now, let alone back than, I have not seen these folks in 25 or more years). for well over a year if I recall, Mom went to "visit" His Majesty nearly every weekend. leaving me her ATM card and more freedom than any 20 something had any right to have. after the "incident" they both moved up to Middletown,. do I think he "did it"? nothing would shock me about him. he had many relationships prior to my Mom, and they all ended ugly. do I suspect he tried or even succeeded in abusing his daughter, and perhaps THAT was a big reason she moved so far away from him? I can see that as well and it is well known that sex abusers do NOT abuse once and only once it's a pattern, all I know is that they subsequently moved less than 20 minutes away from them and rarely saw them again for the rest of his life even at holidays, (and this went on for a good 7-8 years) He died a number of years later, and that story has a pretty funny punchline, I will save for another day.