Wednesday, February 8, 2012

How much can I stand?

last week, my uncle became bedridden. more than just bedridden, he is no longer able to do anything at all for himself. including communicate. I can only imagine how this this type of existance would be, I know I for one would not want to go on five seconds in this state. I have no clue what comes next, nor how this will change my status in this apartment, I do not think things are going to improve, and I also think the time is coming when I will need to find another place to live. under NY Law, I should have been sent a new lease between 150 and 90 days ago. had this been done, I would surely have been safe, as He would have signed on no problem while he was in a coherent state. however as I was not sent a lease and his sudden departure from reality has made him renewing said lease impossible, I am left at the mercy of those in charge of his care. and THOSE people seem nearly as removed from reality as My Uncle,and seem to have little interest in HIM much less me. the only ones who seem to pay attention to him are the "care givers/lay personnel" who sit in his room and watch him sit in bed and sleep. a coherent conversation is out of the question, the man does not or cannot speak. I am waiting on hearing how the matter will be handled. and I pray that they will at the least attempt to follow what his wishes would have been regarding helping me. if not I am in possibly more trouble than I ever dreamed of and this , this has been weighing heavily on my mind since I saw him last week. since the last entry in this saga, I have had little luck in the employment category. I have begun taking "day work" as an extra on assorted Crime Shows that film in NYC, but the work is very limited and the pay is horrible though I must confess it gives me a tiny thrill to spot myself in scenes with Tom Selleck and Mariska Hargitay.. I also have worked a few hours here and there at a local store off the books. every tiny bit helps. I have begun seeing a therapist but the process is moving very slow and I will not suddenly "get better" overnight. there is so much going on in my world that I have much trouble focusing on what I would like to when I go there, and the finances never improve. it is impossible to function this way or make any head way.and the clock is closer than ever to running out for good on unemployument. as of today there is under a month left before it expires for good and forever ,  what the Hell am I going to do next?