I could not decide if I should address this here or not,
on the one hand, I will possibly simply end up "fanning the flames", and making an already unpleseant situation worse. on the other hand, this blog is intended as a "no holds barred" look at my life, and I must say the feedback from some parties has been really impressive.and I do not want to hold anything at all back.
the names of those involved are not being used. (for the most part). and I have not said anything untrue, people have every right to disagree with me. this is America. and this blog is about MY Journey, and my point of view.
I have shared the story I am about to tell with a lot of people. some know the person involved. some do not. ALL of them agree, hands down, I am "right", those who know the person might NEVER admit this to His face. (mainly because they not only like this person for his very funny personae, and the fact that as long as you are careful and NEVER let this person near your wallet, He is a pretty good guy, and can be a ton of fun to be around). I have known this person since I was 12.(more or less). I know he will read this, as will someone else in his life who I am very unpopular with. and I really do not wish to upset or anger either.
In a perfect world?, I would actually like to totally let go of all the anger and nastiness that has transpired between us. but you see, sometimes, he just makes it next to impossible. by his actions.
As I related earlier, I had a 401k account that I was forced to close. this created a big pile of money.
I had something like 40 grand all in my little old regular Chase account.I was unemployed, but it sure did not feel that way back in October of 07. ( I recall this as I had JUST begun at PC when "that call" came in, a phone call I wish I had never picked up).
My very close friend and co-worker,(lets call him "Tony Stark" had been in need of a car forever, the vehicle he was using was not even "really his", now "Tony Stark". is really a great guy. no doubt, he is quick-witted, an awesome salesperson, and many good things. "good with money" however is NOT one of them.to put it kindly. and yes, I knew this going into this. whole sordid affair. I had leant him money several times over the years, and getting it back was often akin to pulling teeth, but in the end he always met his obligations,
he also was very well compensated at work. he made more than I did, (but he also had a good deal more expenses,.fair is fair. and I do not wish to obscure any facts).now the TRUTH is that this party is something of a "Peter Pan". He never,ever, ever wants to grow up. and in many ways that is what makes him so damn charming, and impossible for me to stay angry with. and a quality that helps him make a great living and he can at times make an amazing and loyal friend. he demonstrated that to me more than once over the years. we share many things in common. we also bicker like hell over others. I may devote another chapter to him and some of our mutual antics at some time. there are plenty.
but this post is about one thing and one thing only. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. as Aretha might say.
he BEGGED me, to lend him 2000.00 for a car. swore to me up,down and sideways it would be paid in a year or under, and yanked at my heart strings, with phrases that echo in my ears 5 years later.
"How long have we been friends?" "don't you TRUST me"?, "you KNOW where I work", "you KNOW how much I make". I tried to negotiate, 1000.00? no, 1500.00 no. it must be all
this was the "magic, Supercar of his dreams!" it was THE one, he had been searching so long for.
it was the reason he had waited for so long,. to find the "right" one,
and how could I possibly ever understand? I who never had a car or learned to drive.?
against the advice of some, I relented.
bottom line here? he made a few repayments a LOOOOOONG time apart, and in typical fashion for him getting what I have gotten to date was and remains like pulling teeth.
OH, and guess what? He NEVER even bought the damn thing. that's right, he NEVER BOUGHT THE FUCKING THING, wanna know something else? he only finally got a replacement car in the last 6 months or so.
What was the money spent on? I have no idea. he does not take drugs. he barely touches alcohol.it would not shock me if he used it to make a dent in his endless overdue bills.or something else.but it was not used for what it was intended. was there ever a car? probably, I believe there was. was I the worlds biggest fool? maybe. I just wanted to be as good a friend to him as he had been to me. and help him get something I knew he needed, we have fought over this loan ever since. if you take ONE lesson from this blog it should be "never lend money to friends". I have a far worse story along these lines for another day,
WHY did he not RETURN said funds as soon as it was clear he was not getting the car? ask him. I am sure he will leave some lame-ass sarcastic comment on this entry.
in an earlier post, I told the story of a someone who owed me 750.00, and how at my lowest this party made a "joke" about it. and laughed as I begged for 100.00, he has since told me that moment was a "turning point", that THAT was when he began to find "paying me a chore". really? that incident was over 3 and a half years AFTER he had once promised that it would be paid, on time. in full in under a year.
now the final twist. for ME? it's never been about the money per-se.
I came to terms long ago with the fact I may never see it all. (of course I do need it and believe it should be paid)
it's his attitude and lack of respect that infuriates me.
last Dec I had a little too much to drink on Christmas Eve,
I thought about how much I needed that money. how lousy my Christmas was.
and how awesome his was. I sent him a barrage of curse riddled texts. I was done.
last night he saw the post about that incident, he again "mocked it" and left a comment,
we texted earlier and are neutral again, we may not be after he reads this,
I still want my money. and a truce would also be nice. I will settle for an ounce of RESPECT,
