My Uncle. "this part is going to really be painful"

To fully tell this story, I need to explain something.
My family has always been my "friends". and my "job".
and for close to 10 years at this point, both had been "one and the same".
It's not that I really "dislike" my uncle. he is basically a "good" person, he HAS to be
but you see, he is 79 years old, and for his entire life, he has been a Marist Brother, as in "sort of a Priest."
"on paper" I am Catholic, but I am like many more of a "lapsed" Catholic, do I believe in God? sure, do I go to church? I fear my head would start to spin and I might vomit pea soup should I enter one, so I just kind of stay away from churches to "play it safe",
as a kid, I often got the vibe my uncle did not exactly "like" me, as a less than perfect "grown up" this feeling grew a lot more tangible. ( he had some vaild reasons for not exactly being a fan of mine, that I will discuss at another time, but this is enough for now).
The short version of this story, is I avoided him for a long time. it was just the simplest way. He lived in "His World". I lived in mine. and 2 worlds were about to collide that are VERY different,
at 78 and not in great health, (he looks like shit these days, and seldom leaves his bed, and his room looks like something out of "Hoarders")  he seems "at peace". well you would too, if everything in life was taken care of by others. and you had no worries,and no bills to speak of. and never had to worry about pretty much anything other than "what's for lunch?" and "when am I going to die"?
Now, I do not blame him, for his outlook on life really, he was a school teacher for many years.
but living in his world, kind of removes a part of your brain,.the part that comprehends the cost of living,
as well as the part that understands the need for certain essentials in order to dig yourself out of a hole the size of the Grand Canyon.
He was, when he heard what was going on in my little corner of Hell, shockingly good to me,
and I am eternally grateful. some have told me I am wrong for inflicting MY personal Hell on a relative who I had little contact with when things were good. I tend to agree, but with no other viable options..I did what I had to, "I did what I had to". is something of a recurring theme in my World.
Time will tell if what came next was smart, or a band aid on a gaping wound rather than a "proper, long term solution" on June 2, 2011 it looks a LOT like the former rather than the latter.
I was given a lot of money.and "sold" him a lot of my personal items that I acquired over the last few years.
I was moved out of my apartment to a much much smaller, cheaper apartment.( in HIS name as I would never get an apartment in my own at this stage), the rent was paid for "a short time" in advance, (this has escalated to now over a year, 3 months at a time), till I "get a job". it was NEVER supposed to last this long.
now, in June of 2010, I was forced to "resubmit" my claim with unemployment. good news/bad news time again. Thanks to Obama, brand new claim, now = 92 weeks in NY. MY claim however involved new earnings, and a "new" base period for those earnings. I went from 290.00 every week, to 180.00. a week at least. I now qualify for Food Stamps. I get a whopping 160.00 for 30 days. ( they typically last about 15/17 in a good month, and you cannot buy ANYTHING, but food. NO you cannot buy soap, paper towels, cat stuff, or toothpaste, or pretty much anything disposible other than food.).
The problem I NOW live with daily, and the source of my frustration, is rather simple.
"How the hell does one find a job, and pay the bills on 180.00 a week, when existing
on 100.00 more was next to impossible?"
I "do whatever I can, I do what I have to do,".
it has gotten VERY scary, and keeps getting scarier, I do not know HOW much longer the rent will be subsidized for me, but the lease was 2 years.
back in the 80's I was a big fan of NBC News anchor Linda Ellerbee.
I am going to close this chapter by borrowing her catchphrase, (which She borrowed from Lloyd Dobbins as her great book about TV news recounts). "and so it goes".